When I found out I was pregnant, I felt this immediate rush of joy mixed with the familiar nervousness that comes with any big life change. And almost instantly, another thought followed: “How is this going to affect my career?”
I know I’m not alone in that. Many ambitious women have stood in that exact same moment, excited for what’s ahead yet worried about what it means for their career trajectory that they built over many years. And the truth is – yes, your career will change. But careers change for everyone, parents or otherwise. They evolve, stretch, plateau, restart, and pivot. Imagine if they didn’t. How incredibly dull that would be.
Still, even though change is inevitable, it’s rarely comfortable. And I certainly didn’t know what was coming for me.
The Return That Changed Everything
After having my son and spending a blissful maternity leave with him – full of choppy nights, giggles, and the end stages of writing my first book – I returned to the world of management consulting. I was nervous in a way I hadn’t been before. Consulting had been demanding even before becoming a mother; how was I going to manage it now?
I did manage. But I wasn’t my best self. Far from it.
In that one year back, I struggled more than I ever expected – anxiety, chronic stress, the creeping symptoms of burnout. On paper, I was doing everything “right.” Internally, I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But within that chaos, something important was happening. I was learning. And I was confronting, for the first time, the truth that the version of success I had been chasing no longer fit the season of life I was in.
The Scorecard That No Longer Worked
I kept pushing because I was attached to the goal, I’d set for myself before I became a mother – a goal rooted in comparison, timelines, and fear of falling behind. I was clinging to an old scorecard that didn’t reflect my values anymore.
The irony is that on weekends, I was coaching women just like me – helping them define success on their own terms, reconnect with their values, and build purposeful lives and careers. I could see their misalignment clearly… but not my own.
Eventually, I did see it. And with my husband’s support, I finally let myself acknowledge what had been true for a long time:
My values had shifted. My passion for coaching had grown. And I wanted to build something of my own.
The Season You’re In Matters
Many of us resist change, even when we’re deep into a new season of life. We grow, our responsibilities shift, our perspectives widen – yet we keep trying to measure ourselves against who we were three, five, or even ten years ago.
When our scorecard doesn’t match our season, we feel it: stress, anxiety, boredom, apathy, misalignment.
This is why redefining success matters.
It’s not about lowering standards or abandoning ambition. It’s about updating the criteria of what good looks like in the life you’re living now.
Some of the questions I asked myself – and now ask clients – include:
- Is this still the goal? Why or why not?
- Does this path make me happy or serve a purpose?
- What does success look like in this season of my life – not the last one?
The answer wasn’t immediate. It took almost a year of discomfort and several months of honest reflection before I fully stepped into independent work. It required confronting what I tied my self-worth to, letting go of comparison, and imagining what a fulfilling career could look like without the lens of external validation.
Redefining Success Doesn’t Make You Less Ambitious
Walking away from the path I’d been on for years was not a light decision, but it was the right one. Choosing a path built on my own values has made the journey more sustainable, more joyful, and far more aligned.
Today, success feels different.
Lighter, but more meaningful.
Less about pace, more about purpose.
Less about proving, more about becoming.
Redefining success after becoming a mother didn’t diminish my ambition – it made my ambition clearer, more honest, and infinitely more my own.
